Ode to Duane

Today we salute you Duane Dixon.

While lesser men sit around and watch TV, you faithfully try to defeat Bowser once and for all in the presence of your son.

You don't have to go out in the sun to get a tan.

You just wake up and it is there.

Only whoosies cover their mouths when they burp.

You make sure a tri-county area can hear your rumble.

You make Ty Pennington look like Tony Danza with your modern home stylings.

You tirelessly work to convert the masses.

Who's Max Lucado?

I don't know, but have you heard that Duane Dixon speak?

So here's to you Duane Dixon.

Keep up the good work of making the rest of us look bad.